- Oliver and Orlando are brothers (older and younger respectively)
o Siblingfeud but make it way worse
o Oliverdoesn’t help Orlando get any education or training
- Charles is a wrestler; Orlando challenges Charles
o Charles is like “shoot. Oliver? Hello? What do I do?”
o Oliver is like “Orlando sucks, I hate my brother, just beat him up.”
o Charles says “okay bet”
o Oliver is like “slay”
- Duke Senior and Duke Frederick are another pair of brothers
o Senior has a daughter named Rosalind
o Frederick has a daughter named Celia
o Duke Frederick overthrew Senior, who lives in the forest now
§ Their daughters are besties though so they stay together in the kingdom
- Orlando actually beats Charles which is wild
o Rosalind falls in love with him and tells only Celia because that is what besties are for
- Oliver is over it and wants to kill Orlando
- Orlando’s right-hand Adam gives him a heads up so Orlando does what all sensible men do and run into the forest where he writes poems on trees
- Duke Frederick is also like “nah get this niece of mine outta here” and banishes her so she does what all sensible women to and goes to the forest
o Celia goes with her though
- Rosalind and Celia disguise themselves as men
o Rosalind= Ganymede
o Celia= Aliena
- Duke Frederick is like “I know I threw my daughter’s best friend and my only niece out of the castle but I am so angry my daughter is gone too”
o Then he realizes Orlando is gone too, thinks it is too much of a coincidence, and gets Oliver to go find and kill Orlando
o Also wants his brother (Senior) dead so it is very convenient they are both in the forest
- Orlando somehow stumbles upon Duke Senior’s Robin Hood life and demands food
o Duke Senior is surprisingly nice about it
- Rosalind and Celia buy a cottage in the woods for some reason
o They also meet a shepherd named Silvius who wants a woman named Phoebe and tbh I don’t really get their relevance
- Orlando runs into them because I guess this is a small forest
o He thinks Rosalind is a man and confides that he is lovesick
o Rosalind is like “ah lovesickness is an illness and I can cure it”
o Orlando agrees
o Rosalind says to pretend she is Rosalind and to come woo her every day
- Silvius the shepherd man is still getting rejected by Phoebe, who then falls in love with the man-woman Ganymede-Rosalind (lol)
- Orlando doesn’t show up to the love lesson thing and Rosalind panics
- Oliver is like "LOL he got bit by a lion"
o Celia is like “who is this hottie delivering this terrible news? I think I’m in love”
o They agree to marry
- Phoebe still wants man-woman Ganymede-Rosalind
- Orlando is tired of pretending Ganymede is Rosalind even though it’s true
- Rosalind promises that Ganymede will wed Phoebe if Ganymede will ever marry a woman (which Ganymede won’t because she is not Ganymede)
- Hymen marries the couples:
o Rosalind and Orlando
o Celia and Oliver
o Phoebe and Silvius
o These other randoms named Audrey and Touchstone
- Duke Frederick has some sort of religious awakening and stops trying to kill his brother and even gives him back the throne